Splendid People

Believe it or not Twankers is made up of real people, with arms, legs, limited brains and everything else really. Without blowing our own trumpets (we'll happily blow anyone else's) we are recognised in our real guises as people who seriously know our stuff. Naturally, to keep the mystery and enhance the fun (and to allow us to get away with cheekiness) we have all taken an alter-ego. Our profiles are below:

Tommy Twanker @TommyTwanker: Self styled Social Media Guru, who knows all about Twitface and Spacebook. Originally from Macclesfield, the love child of Hilda Ogden and Jimmy Saville (or it could have been Jim Bowen) started life as a pigeon fancier. Unfortunately, they didn't fancy him back, so he decided to look for an alternative past time. His timing couldn't have been better!! He soon found himself on the speaker circuit talking to lots of people who wanted to know more about "social media".  He very quickly elevated himself to "guru" status and after a couple of months became one of the most well known authorities in this new industry. Such an accomplished apprenticeship is very rare in the social media industry.

As you can tell by the name of the agency "Twankers", Tommy is very much the man in charge, the head honcho, the big cheese. Despite being very important and achieving such celebrity status he ensures he makes time to help the less well informed and through the magic of this site, Twitter and Facebook he can be contacted. So, in this world of direct accessibility to celeb's you might as well take the opportunity to ask Tommy something, he actually does come back with an answer.

Andre Anecdote @AndreAnecdote: A business marketing professional who, for many, many years, has been a leading advocate of 'voice over apparent substance' (VoAs). His ability to lunch is surpassed only by his inability to distinguish red from green. Having reached the zenith of his career in the formative 'Mad Men' agency years of the 1960s, and indeed no stranger to the inside of an 'Old No.7' bottle, Anecdote has left an indelible mark on most Fortune 500 carpets and/or veneer flooring.

He is able to  draw on a wealth of agency experience that is unquestionably a triumph of endurance over endeavour. His prejudices have been painstakingly accumulated across all media and channels of communication and boast an uncanny resemblance to the leadership views of the industry that itself shows little, if any, progressive acceptance.

In the context of the ‘social web’ Andre has a proven record of excellence in at least the ‘social’ aspect of brand development. He has been quick to embrace the ‘mobile opportunity’ and, famously, led the ‘Catch Me if you Can’ mobile campaign in 2010 whereby his, arguably controversial, mobile twitface shenanigans required the combined efforts of three law enforcement agencies (one international) and the application of most known geo-positioning technologies to bring his rampant outbursts against a former employer to an inauspicious, and slightly moist, end. A raconteur of considerable standing and incontinence, Anecdote has never been afraid to share his cumulative output. If you were ever left wondering 'What Andre did next', this is it.

Madame Betty Big Baps @MmeBettyBigBaps: The pitiful child born out of wedlock on a woeful Wednesday bares no resemblance to what some say Great Madame BBB, has become in the B2B universe. Many don’t believe that the sniffling girl eager to learn her four P’s and thank you’s is the same woman who now stands before her clients with her head and other bits held extremely high for a woman of her age.

Coming from such a poor start in life Madame BBB took to the dark and dingy offices of London sniffing for tit bits under the legs of CIM experts. However, she quickly learnt that the direct marketing world was full of shiny people running on little wheels made for hamsters with a very large ROMI carrot in front of them (others say that she was the inspiration behind the London Eye).

It didn’t take her long to realise the errors of their ways and decided to take that leap of faith in herself and go into business alone.  She never looked back, unless the price is right of course. Now with a mass of contacts under her skirts, a wealth of global knowledge on all real business marketing matters she felt that it was time to pass on her tricks to the needy. Yes, don’t look round, that’s you.